


Outrun (the Linger remix)

by wallmakerrelict



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Nightmares, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Relationship, Vehicles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:00:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24731974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallmakerrelict/pseuds/wallmakerrelict
Summary: A week before the Kerberos mission, a nightmare chases Shiro out onto the hoverbike trails in the desert. When Keith tries to turn back, Shiro looks for excuses to keep running.
Relationships: Keith & Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 34
Collections: Sheith Remix 2020





	Outrun (the Linger remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Linger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15128879) by [LittleWhiteTie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleWhiteTie/pseuds/LittleWhiteTie). 



> I was so pleased to be matched with [LittleWhiteTie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleWhiteTie/pseuds/LittleWhiteTie) for the Sheith Remix event. Jenn, thank you for writing a beautiful and touching fic. It was a fun challenge to set your concept pre-Kerberos.

The lights of the Garrison perimeter still glowed behind as Shiro crept out into the desert, making his way from asphalt to dirt to sand. They washed out the stars overhead and made the sky look cloudy even though the night was clear. Shiro sped up, not bothering to be quiet anymore now that they were far enough from the guard posts that no one would hear them. 

“Where are we going?” Keith panted behind him, still a little groggy. Shiro wasn’t sure how he’d managed to steal Keith out of the cadet barracks without waking anyone else. He’d been in too much of a hurry to be careful, sneaking in with a smile and a salute to the sergeant on duty and back out with a finger held to his grinning lips and Keith’s hand in his own. Now the thrill of success made him lightheaded. What with all the distractions and pressure the last few weeks, it had been a while since he’d cheerfully flouted garrison protocol. 

It was reckless, both for Shiro’s sake (his place on the Kerberos mission was hanging by the thread of Sam Holt’s recommendation) and Keith’s (whose clashes with authority had left him on thin ice with Garrison command). But Shiro couldn’t turn back now. The adrenaline rush of his misbehavior had almost managed to wash out the panic of the nightmare that had woken him up less than an hour ago. 

Shiro had never had nightmares about missions before tonight. He’d felt a reasonable level of fear, of course - space missions were risky, and overconfidence was a rookie’s mistake - but it had never bubbled up in his subconscious to surprise him in the dead of night with screaming and sweat-soaked sheets. Even worse, he couldn’t remember the details of what had frightened him so badly. If he’d dreamed about an equipment malfunction, an astronomical event, or even his own error, he could have reassured himself with logic, probability, and faith in his own team and skills. Instead, there was just a formless dread about leaving Earth, terrifying him so badly that he could still feel it on the insides of his eyelids, waiting for him whenever he tried to close them again. 

Maybe it was the breakup that was throwing him off, or the pessimistic medical report he’d received last week, but tonight he was off-balance in a way he couldn’t explain or bear. He didn’t want to go back to sleep, and he didn’t want to sit still, and he didn’t want to be alone. 

“Just a little farther,” he assured Keith as they shuffled through the dunes. The sand was cold, all of its daytime heat long since leached out. In his haste, Shiro kicked some over the top of his boots and felt the grit settle into his socks. “This’ll be fun. Totally worth the reprimand if we get caught.” 

True to his word, behind the next outcropping stood two hoverbikes. Shiro had driven them out here before going back in to retrieve Keith. They were fully charged and ready for one of their habitual breakneck joyrides.

Keith grinned, his sleepiness gone as he vaulted onto his bike and revved the engine, and he followed as Shiro took off on his own bike into the desert. They kept their speed low for the first couple of miles, not wanting the high whine of engines nor the clouds of dust to be noticed by the night guards back on the Garrison grounds, but sped up as the glow of floodlights disappeared over the horizon and the stars came out overhead. To the untrained eye there were only rocks and sand ahead, but Shiro had taught Keith to follow the faint trails and natural signposts that led to the best hoverbike routes.

Keith stayed just behind and to the side of Shiro as their bikes zoomed through the desert, weaving between the rock formations. When the rocks thinned out and the landscape opened up, Keith gunned it to come up alongside him. Shiro couldn’t help but look over, letting his eyes linger a little too long on Keith instead of on the trail ahead. Keith glanced over and caught him looking, giving him a quirky smile before taking advantage of his distraction to pass just as they entered the next narrow spot. 

Even in these tight quarters, Shiro knew how to bank off the side of the canyon to pop back out in front, and on a normal day he might have attempted it. But this time he allowed Keith to take the lead, pulling a little to the left to keep Keith’s wake from kicking sand up into his goggles. Keith was magnificent astride his bike. The machine had dwarfed him when they’d first started coming out here, but now his body had grown into it, as had his confidence. Some of his teachers found him arrogant, but Shiro remembered that hopeless, lonely boy slumped in a jail cell and knew how easy it would be for Keith to slide back into self-doubt and isolation. He had earned this confidence. He deserved it. He needed it. 

And Shiro needed to see Keith succeed. Perhaps this was why he’d sought Keith out tonight: because knowing how much Keith had overcome was the only thing that could convince Shiro that he would overcome his own demons, too. 

As they left the canyon, Keith looked back, expecting Shiro to blaze by him again. When Shiro stayed behind him, Keith braked and pulled over in a cloud of dust and sand. The Garrison lights were completely gone from the horizon, and the only light came from their headlamps casting harsh shadows on the planes of Keith’s face. “Are you okay?” Keith asked. 

“Of course I am,” Shiro laughed, unable to keep the nervousness out of his voice completely. “Why, are you not having a good time?” 

“No, I am,” Keith said, fidgeting with his gloves. “But isn’t this a bad idea, being out here so late?”

“We’ve done night rides before.” 

“Only on weekends. We’ve never snuck out like this before. If you get caught, won’t you be in trouble with Sanda?” 

Shiro felt a pang of guilt that Keith was more concerned about Shiro getting in trouble than himself. And Keith was right; this was stupid. But the nightmare’s grip wasn’t as strong out here, and despite the risk Shiro didn’t want to turn back. “Sanda wouldn’t like me even if I never set a single toe out of line,” Shiro replied with a roll of his eyes. “One joyride would be a drop in the bucket.”

“Yeah, but…” 

Shiro interrupted before Keith could talk him out of his false confidence. “Come on, we’re almost halfway through the loop. It’d take as long to go back as it will to do the rest of the trail.” He revved his engine, urging Keith forward. 

“Yeah…” said Keith, shaking off his misgivings to flash a genuine smile as he started his engine back up. “Yeah, okay!” 

They sped off once more, plumes of dust swirling in the darkness behind them. Shiro weaved this way and that across the trail, alternately passing Keith and allowing Keith to pass him, pushing the throttle higher each time until they were tearing through the desert as fast as their bikes could carry them. Keeping Keith in sight helped chase off Shiro’s loneliness, and the speed made him feel like he could outrun his fear. 

Shiro dropped back as they went into the next rock formation, his heart leaping as he watched Keith expertly navigate the technical series of ramps and drops to get down to the next plateau. He was better than Shiro had been at his age - bolder approaches, cleaner control, more elegant landings - a true natural talent. Shiro’s nightmare clawed at his back like a demon, but Keith was a guiding light moving forward. 

What did he have to fear from a nightmare? It didn’t even matter if the worst happened, out on Kerberos. Shiro was living on borrowed time, anyway, and a death and burial out there among the stars was practically comforting next to the idea of fading away slowly as tubes and machines took over each of his failing bodily functions. As long as Keith was there to carry on Shiro’s dream, his short life would have been enough. 

Shiro accelerated, blasting joyfully past Keith before turning a quick loop and speeding off on the side trail that led to the cliff drop. His adrenaline was reaching a fever pitch, almost enough to banish the final remnants of the nightmare. He wanted to feel his stomach lurch as he sped off the cliff edge. He wanted to see Keith fly. 

It took him several seconds to realize the whine of Keith’s engine was no longer accompanying his own. He braked and spun to see Keith stopped back at the fork in the trail, staring after Shiro with his face hidden in shadow. Shiro’s heart pounded for a different reason, now, as he trundled back to meet him. 

“Something wrong?”

“That’s the way to the cliff drop.” 

“Yeah…” said Shiro, spreading his arms and grinning invitingly. 

“I’ve never done it in the dark. Won’t it be hard to gauge the landing if I can’t see the bottom?” 

Shiro shrugged. “We’ve done it so many times, I’ll bet we could do it with our eyes closed. Besides, the stars are out, so we’ll be able to see well enough. It can’t be that different.” 

Keith squinted at him. “Wait. Have _you_ ever done it in the dark?”

“No,” Shiro had to admit. “But it wouldn’t be that hard…” 

“Shiro, you know I don’t want to be that guy, but what if you get hurt? The launch is next week!”

The logic didn’t make a dent in Shiro’s swirling anxiety. Now that they were stopped, now that Keith was looking at him with concern instead of fire in his eyes, the nightmare was catching up. He had to keep chasing that adrenaline to ward it off. He remembered the first time he’d done the cliff drop - in the moment he’d hung suspended in the air before his bike began to plummet, he could have sworn he was invincible. He needed that tonight. 

But he didn’t know how to explain all that, so he let his frustration say, “Well, I’m going with or without you! If you’re so sure I’m gonna crash, you can take the long way around and scrape me off the rocks afterwards!” 

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he hated that he’d said them, not least because if anything bad did ever happen to Shiro he knew Keith really would be the first one there to pick up the pieces. 

But if Shiro’s words had wounded him, Keith didn’t show it. He stared with a stillness that Shiro, in his turmoil, found incomprehensible. “What’s going on with you?” Keith asked quietly. 

It took Shiro some time to reply. And when he finally managed to stammer his way out of the awkward silence, he still didn’t have an answer to Keith’s question. “Sorry,” he said hoarsely, ducking his head away from the bikes to hide his face in the shadows. “I’m sorry, Keith. I don’t know what I was thinking. We shouldn’t even be out here. I… I’ll take you home.” 

Wordlessly, they got back on their bikes and started toward the Garrison at a much more cautious speed. Shiro led the way, the better to watch out for hazards that were harder to see in the dark. Keith had been right - what had he been thinking, coming out here in secret like this? If one of them had wrecked and gotten hurt, no one would have known where to look for them or even missed them until morning. In running from his nightmare, he’d almost made a different one come true. 

But they hadn’t made it far before Keith dropped behind again, pulling over to the side of the trail and letting his engine die. Shiro looped back to park alongside him. 

“What’s wrong? I thought you wanted to go back,” Shiro said as Keith hopped off his bike and waded into the sand. 

“This won’t take long,” Keith replied. He plopped down onto the ground and sighed as he lay back in the bed of cool sand, legs crossed and hands behind his head. “Turn off your headlights.” 

When Shiro obliged, the desert was plunged into darkness. Shiro blinked until his eyes adjusted enough to find his way over to where Keith was beckoning. Lying side by side seemed too intimate, so Shiro lowered himself down just across from Keith’s supine form so that the tops of their heads were almost touching, but not quite. 

Shiro was so distracted by the barely-there tickle on the crown of his head where Keith’s hair brushed his with each breath, that he didn’t understand what they were doing until Keith pointed straight up and said, “Look.” 

It certainly wasn’t the first time Shiro had come out here to look at the stars, but the incredible sight still managed to startle him with its beauty. They were still far from the Garrison lights, and the moon was new, so there was nothing to compete with the Milky Way where it bent with blooms and puffs of nebulae and solar systems across the cloudless sky. It made something tighten in Shiro’s chest. He might not be able to shake the nightmare that had driven him out here, but at least this sight could remind him why he’d yearned to go to space in the first place. 

He listened to Keith’s quiet, rhythmic breathing, waiting for him to say something - some question or lecture or demand. But even if Keith couldn’t understand what was going through Shiro’s head, he seemed to know what he needed, so he lay in perfect patience as Shiro’s thoughts collected.

“I’m scared,” Shiro finally said, surprising himself by speaking out loud, “to go to Kerberos.” 

If Keith was surprised, he didn’t let on. “How come?”

“I don’t know.” 

It was so hard to make himself vulnerable like this. The risk had so rarely been worth it in the past. He’d shown Adam all his weaknesses, and in the end that was all Adam could see anymore. He’d talked about it a little with the Holts, but Sam would always drown any sign of insecurity with a wave of encouragement before Shiro had a chance to make himself heard. How would Keith react? Keith, who believed in Shiro, in his strength, in his legend? Keith, who had been so upset when he’d learned of Shiro’s illness? Could he accept that his hero was not just sick, but also unsure? 

Shiro didn’t know what he expected Keith to say, but it wasn’t, “You don’t have to go.”

“Y-yes I do!” Shiro burst out, a panicked laugh breaking through at the thought. “I worked too hard and gave up too much to have doubts now. The Holts are counting on me. Everyone else is just waiting for me to fail. I have to show them...”

Shiro heard the sand shift above him as Keith shrugged. “You don’t owe it to anyone to feel one way or the other,” he said. “No one can make you give up your place on the mission; you proved that. But… no one can make you go either, if you don’t want to.” 

It was strange to hear Keith talk about it so matter-of-factly, with no hint of judgement or distress. Shiro hadn’t realized how trapped he’d felt until he was given permission to walk away. His voice was hoarse as he asked, “You wouldn’t think any less of me?”

“Of course not. You’re more than your mission record, Shiro.” 

Shiro blinked up at the stars with fresh wonder. Somewhere along the way, he’d lost sight of why he was doing this. His drive and passion, which had once brought him so much joy, had only handed him conflict and loss lately. Especially since his diagnosis, he’d been so single-mindedly focused on packing as much experience and accomplishment into what time he had left that he had forgotten to take a step back and remember the little boy he’d once been, the one who had spent so many nights like this: gazing at the sky and dreaming sweet dreams of visiting those far-off points of light. 

He’d needed to be released from his sense of obligation in order to remember how much he wanted this. And though it was scary to think of all that might go wrong up there, it was scarier to imagine himself in a year, in five years, or at the end of his life, knowing he hadn’t taken the opportunity when it came along. 

Adam’s demands had only made Shiro dig his heels in harder, and Sam’s positivity hadn’t left any room for doubt. Only Keith’s quiet understanding had held him still long enough to realize that he couldn’t outrun this feeling. He had to sit with it until it didn’t scare him anymore. 

“Yeah,” Shiro breathed. “Okay, yeah.” 

Keith stammered a little as he said, “You, uh, you’re still going though, right?”

“Hell yes I am.” 

Keith reached up with a laugh and twirled Shiro’s forelock around one slender finger. “That’s what I thought.” 

Time slipped away as the stars wheeled above them. Shiro allowed himself to be hypnotized by their beauty, and by the peace of Keith’s quiet presence nearby. It was a struggle to tear his eyes away and sit up, shaking the sand off his clothes. “Alright,” he sighed, “thanks for this, but for real now, I gotta get you back before someone notices we’re gone.” 

It didn’t take them long to navigate the familiar switchbacks down the cliffside and cross the sandy plain until the horizon lit up once more with the glow of Garrison floodlights. As they neared the complex, slipping in and out of shadow to avoid the guards and night crew, Keith turned toward the cadet barracks and gave Shiro a shove toward the officers’ quarters. Shiro hesitated before splitting up, suddenly guilty again. 

“Let me walk you home,” he sighed. “If your sergeant is at the desk, I’ll take the fall for you being out after curfew.” 

Keith scoffed. “I know how to sneak past the desk. Don’t worry about me. No one will ever know I was gone.” 

Shiro chuckled. Keith was right - he was probably safer sneaking back in alone than he’d been sneaking out with Shiro clumsily leading the way. “Okay, but seriously, feel free to throw me under the bus if you get caught.” 

“I won’t get caught.” 

As Keith stepped back into the shadow of the cadet barracks, vanishing from sight, Shiro’s pulse spiked once more and he lurched forward to catch Keith by the wrist before he could slip away. “Hey,” Shiro blurted out. “Wait, I need to ask you something. I know you said you’d be there at the launch, but I need one more thing. Will you promise to be there when I get back? When I step off the ship I want yours to be the first face I see.” 

Even in the darkness, Keith’s smile shined like the stars. 

“Nothing could keep me away.”


End file.
